Re: The Carer

For everyone, patients, families, friends, carers...share your methods for coping, your frustrations and seek support

Moderators: pennycsf, PaddyFrog, KarenVM87, Cathy Allen

evianers
Posts: 51
Joined: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:41 am

Re: The Carer

Postby evianers » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:56 pm

Updated information : my OH is doing well after the radical prostatectomy now nearly four years ago. He has to take a yearly blood test for the PSA level, and then return to the oncologist-urologist for an annual check.
However, since that time, our son, aged 44 has had bladder cancer, which he has also survived and is now at the stage where he goes every 4/5 months for a cystoscopy [very painful and uncomfortable, but it simply has to be done]. It seems cruel that this dreadful disease has struck our family twice now, but we are grateful that the care in France, where we live, and the NHS treatment, where our son lives, has been exemplary. We hope via this method it will give support and encouragement to others.

pennycsf
Site Admin
Posts: 600
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 7:19 pm

Re: The Carer

Postby pennycsf » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:01 pm

What a pleasure to read that both your husband and son are doing well and both health systems have come up trumps (hmmmm maybe not a suitable word these days!) I can't believe OH was 4 years ago. :)

You don't say how YOU are!!!!!!!!! I do hope you are managing to get your life back on an even keel after so much anxiety, after all, the Carer is VERY important.

diparkin
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat May 20, 2017 9:31 am

Re: Re: The Carer

Postby diparkin » Sat May 20, 2017 9:51 am

Having come into this "game" via being a carer (my daughter was ill for 2 years before dying) and a very active hands on one for much of the time. I completely sympathise with the spirit of these posts. I lead a team in her home (including professional nurses in and out , friends and relatives) for the last 6 weeks of her life. I so remember the roller coaster of stress and exhaustion.
Shouting at other half and opening another bottle of wine sounds like a good strategy!

I agree about the significance of getting a break, and a good one away is obviously ideal. But do not undefrestimate the benefit of the short breather. The ones I remember are, when she was in hospital in Dresden, being taken for afternoon tea and cake at a chateau overlooking a river. Or people coming down to take me out for a lovely long lunch (while someone else stayed with her) more than once. Even at minimum walking across the fields to go to buy eggs.
Every day should have at least 20 minutes "me time" break where the carer can switch off. If we dont we will soon blow a fuse

KarenVM87
Posts: 119
Joined: Mon May 03, 2010 4:33 pm

Re: Re: The Carer

Postby KarenVM87 » Sun May 21, 2017 12:06 pm

I cared for my husband at home until he died. For me it was so so difficult to leave him at all. I had some very good friends around me, who begged me to take a break and in the end I relented and the husband would sit with my my husband. The wife and I then went shopping for an hour. But I could not relax and always felt that I should be by his side. It was almost a guilt thing, which I cannot explain. But I totally agree with you diparkin, you need to recharge your batteries and by having a small amount of time away does help.


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