She was a stunning star- beautiful, dynamic, creative and succeeded in her many careers- as a street theatre perfomer, a creator of film sets, an artist, a magician a much loved friend to many and above all a Mother. She was also (and this is an important part of the memory) often a feisty, stroppy and difficult person.
Memory is so complex; we remember and celebrate the good things and are pained because we wont have them again and because she wont have more of the things she loved: lindyhop, festivals, the Sussex downs, the Arriege, her son, her brothers, her neices.
But we are also pained because of the difficult times- the things we didnt resolve, the arguments we might have avoided.
Memory is also always with us; no day, or almost no hour, going by without her loss being noticed. Wouldnt want not to notice, but could do with the pain being less!
To conclude, my image is of a scar as if a limb had been chopped off. The scar will always be there, but less raw, less extreme over time.
To outlive your children is extremely tough. My husband lost a son aged 17 years and he was never exactly the same person. We used to go to his son's favourite beach, where he surfed and we sat and pondered (and where his ashes were scattered). I cannot imagine your hurt as it is still so new. Grief is something you cannot see but with time and patience life will get slowly better. Yes I understand your view of memories, as your daughter is no longer here and it is as if a part of you has gone.